Three hundred miles from home; I have a great job as a video game designer but things seem no different than when I was in high school.  No, wait, that is not quite right.  There is a difference; I don’t have my mom and dad breathing down my neck about becoming a preacher like my dad and settling down and giving them grandkids.  Yeah, mom still mentions grandkids when I come home for the holidays, and dad said at thirty I should have a real job.  Parents, you got to love them even if you disagree.  I know after all this time I should be honest with my parents, especially mom, and tell her that the only grandkids she is going to have are the ones that my sister and brother have given her.  From me, grandkids would have to be adopted.  And as far as finding that perfect “woman”, well that is impossible.  I am gay but unfortunately still living in the closet.  I haven’t even had the balls to have a one night stand or even admit I am gay to the world, much less my own family.

Today is my thirtieth birthday and I had treated myself with a weekend trip to Las Vegas.  Right now, I am trying to talk myself into getting dressed up and going out to the newest gay bar, The Gathering Place.  I kept telling myself that going in there did not mean I have to pick someone up.  I can just check the scene out, have a drink, and then go to the casino.  Tobias James Parker, get your ass up, get dressed, and go have fun.  You deserve it.

I stood up and headed to the bathroom to shower.  After putting on a nice pair of jeans and a button-down shirt, I called for a cab and went down to the lobby to wait.  When I arrived at the club I was surprised,  I was not sure what to expect…maybe something more flamboyant than where I was taken.  It was a nondescript wooden building with a wide front porch and just the name across the overhang.  I paid the driver and got out, hesitating only a moment before I went inside.  After paying the cover charge I headed for the bar.  Being only nine o’clock, it was semi-crowded, several couples on the dance floor taking advantage of the slow song coming from the jukebox.

“What will you have?” the bartender asked as I walked up to the bar.

“I will have a Scotch and coke,” I told him.

As I waited for my drink, I turned sideways and took in the people in the club, feeling myself slowly relaxing.  The bartender set the drink down in front of me and when I went to pay he said, “Gentleman at the end of the bar bought you the drink,” as he walked off.

I looked down the bar and saw a man who appeared to be in his forties, dressed as I was.  I smiled and nodded my head in thanks.  Turning back to my drink, I thought this is not too bad.  Guess I will have to start making monthly weekend trips to Vegas and maybe one day I will be ready to come out of the closet, or at least have a one night stand.

“You must be new around here.  My name is Caleb,” a voice said beside me.  I jumped, almost knocking my drink over.  I could hear Caleb softly laughing.  “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.  Are you here with anyone?”

“No, I am by myself,” as I took a sip of my drink, unsure what to say or how to act.

“I am alone too.  Do you live here in Vegas or just a visitor?”

“Visitor; today is my birthday so I treated myself to a weekend in Vegas,” I told him, mentally chastising myself for acting like a dumbass.  This is a bad idea. He must think I am an idiot.  I need to get out of here.  I am not cut out to become an out-of-the-closet gay. Guess it is time to keep the closet door closed and pretend to be what mom and dad thinks I am…straight.

“Would you like to dance?” he asked as his hand reached out and lightly touched mine.

I stared at Caleb, my eyes wide at his brashness, not sure what I should do so I picked up my drink and downed it in one gulp.

“You have me at a big disadvantage.  You know my name but I don’t know yours,” as he motioned for the bartender to bring us a fresh round of drinks, figuring that the man he was attracted to was new to the gay scene and needed another drink to booster his confidence and embrace who he was.

“My name is Toby,” I told him, making a decision.  “Alright, one more drink and one dance,”

We shared some more small talk as we finished our drinks and then I let Caleb lead me to the dance floor.  I was so scared, I was trembling.

What am I doing?  I have no idea how to dance…much less with a man.  Floor, swallow me now.

Caleb could tell by the way that Toby was holding himself and the tremor in the hand that he held that he was very nervous.  I bet he is not even out of the closet.  I cannot begin to imagine what it would be like to be gay and still in the closet at that age.”

When we reached the dance floor, Caleb put his arms around my waist, whispering, “Put your arms around my neck and relax.  I don’t bite…or at least not that hard,” kissing me on the neck.

I did as he asked and as the song ended and another one started, I found myself leaning into him.  Caleb was about three inches taller than me so it just felt right to rest my head against his chest.  Caleb took one of my arms from around his neck, holding my hand between us as he hugged me tighter, his lips brushing against my hair.  This just seemed so right as a shiver went up and down my body.

I wonder how it would feel to have my lips pressed against his and then wrapped around his cock.  I wonder how his cock would taste before and he came, my face turning red at the naughty thoughts I was having, especially about a man I had just met.

I was brought out of my thoughts as I felt a hand squeeze my ass and a voice whisper in my ear, “You are one sexy man.  I would love to spend more time with you alone.”

I could feel my body tensing up, shocked by his words.  Part of me wanted to be alone with him while another part of me was telling me that I was not ready for that to happen.    As the song ended, I pulled out of his arms.

“I need to go,” I told him.  “Thanks for the drinks and the dances.”

As I started to walk away, Caleb grabbed my arm turning me to face him, saying, “Toby, wait.  I am sorry.  I am usually not this forward but there is something about you that just turns me on...makes me want to show you a good time.  I may be wrong, and if I am say so, but my sixth sense says you have never been with a man, that you are still in the closet.  And I don’t mean there is anything wrong with that.  I guess what I am trying to say is I want you.  I want to show you how good it can be with a man but if you want to go, then go. No pressure and no hard feelings. Thanks for the dances.”

I hesitated a moment, knowing that this opportunity would not present itself again because I was contemplating staying in the closet and forcing myself to pretend I was straight and get married like mom wanted me to.  Even if I stay in the closet what would it hurt to have a one night stand, to know what it was like to be with a man? A secret memory I can have to draw out when things are not going good.  No, it is better to never know what I missed.  It will make it easier to pretend to be straight.

I felt Caleb’s hand on my chin, turning my face toward his, his lips coming down softly on mine.  In that brief intimate kiss, I felt a jolt of sexual desire shoot down my body straight into my cock, giving me a semi-erection.  It was a feeling I had never had with any of the girls I dated in high school.

“I am in Room 725 at the Tropicana if you want to meet me there.  I need to call a cab so give me time to get there,” I said forcing all doubts from my mind, deciding to live in the here and now and not worried about tomorrow.  It is my birthday and I deserve to celebrate.  It will be my gift to myself.

“We can ride there together if you want,” Caleb offered but I declined.  “Alright, I will be there in thirty minutes.  Is that okay?”

“Yes, that is fine,” I said as I pulled out my cell phone and called for a cab.

When I got back to my room, I started to have doubts again but forced them down.  I sat on the edge of the bed, not sure exactly what was going to happen and what I should be doing.  Should I be naked?   Should I stay dressed?  I decided to kick off my shoes and remove my socks while I thought about the questions in my mind.  Before I could make a decision, I heard a light knock on the door.  At first, I started to stay quiet and hope he would think I had chickened out and left but then I knew deep down that was not fair to him so I went over and opened the door, motioning him to come in.

As I shut the door I said, “Ah…Caleb, I am…I mean I…never,”

Caleb put his fingers over my lips and said, “Shush, I know.  Now relax and let nature do its thing.  We will just take it nice and slow and if you want to stop, just tell me.  Okay?

I nodded my head and leaned around to shut the door, standing there awkwardly, wondering if I should make the first move or let Caleb.  The decision was taken out of my hands as he pulled me closer, his lips lightly touching mine.  We just stood there kissing, each kiss getting deeper, our arms around each other.  Finally, Caleb took a step back and began to unbutton my shirt while staring into my eyes, leaning in to capture quick kisses.

I decided to copy what Caleb was doing and began to unbutton his shirt as I kissed him back.  Our shirts unbuttoned, Caleb backed me up against the door, pressing his body against mine, grinding his pelvis against me as the kiss deepened, our tongues mating frantically.  I felt Caleb’s hands move between us, fumbling with the button on my jeans, finally get it out of the buttonhole followed by my zipper being tugged down, his hand gripping my cock tight through my underwear.

I took in a deep breath as my cock hardened almost instantly.  Damn, that feels so good.  Why the hell did I wait so long to experience this as I fumbled with his jeans, anxious to get my hand on Caleb’s cock.   We continued to kiss and stroke each other’s cock, the desire rising between the two of us.  Finally, Caleb pulled away and stripped off so I followed suit.  We worked our way over to the bed.  We crawled into bed, lying on our sides facing each other.  Caleb reached between us, wrapping his hand around my cock, his thumb brushing over the tip as we continued to kiss.

As I reached for him, Caleb whispered, “This is your time,  My time will come later,” as he got up and moved between my legs.

Bracing himself on either side of my body with his hands pressed firmly on the bed he leaned in and kissed me. Moving down, he began to kiss my neck, shoulders, down to he got to my nipples.  Taking the time, Caleb sucked on one, then the other, turning my nipples into hard little buds, sending chills throughout my body.  Slowly he kissed his way down, nipping at my stomach and giving me the first hickey that I could see and know was there but no one else unless I went shirtless.  As Caleb moved down one thigh to my knee and back up the other thigh, I could feel my cock harden.

Caleb leaned forward again, capturing my lips with his as he rubbed his cock lightly against mine, and then with a little more force.  My arms went around his neck, pulling him tight as I kissed him hard, my hips rising to be more in contact with his.  Pulling away, Caleb moved back between my legs, his tongue swirling around the head, the tip of his tongue darting in and out of the slip.

“Oh fuck,” I moaned, my hands gripping the sheets, my desire rising higher as I raised my hips up and down on the bed.

Slowly I felt his lips around my cock, his hand stroking the base as his tongue went to work on my cock.  The feelings of pleasure were so intense I thought I was going to pass out from the sheer pleasure.  Tightening his lips, he moved upwards, pulling my cock taunt and then repeating it as his hand squeezed my balls.

“So good,”

I could feel myself leaking pre-cum and knew that it was only a matter of time before I found my release.  My eyes were closed, enjoying the moment when I felt his lips on mine, his tongue demanding entrance while his hand worked over my cock, spreading the pre-cum all over it.  As we kissed I could taste myself on him, the taste not unpleasant at all.  Damn, I love kissing this man.  I cannot seem to get enough but all too soon, his lips left mine and were wrapped back around my cock.

Caleb continued his ministrations on my cock and balls until I could hold back no longer and found my release.  My body felt like it was on fire and ready to implode as it shook and trembled; my cum spurted out and down his throat, so much that I could feel some dripping on my balls.  I could see flashes of light behind my closed eyes as I let out a loud moan.  When it was over, my body felt like it was all liquid with no bones; totally drained.  I just laid there as Caleb crawled up beside me, kissing me.

“Happy birthday Toby; I hope you loved my present to you,” he said as he kissed me again, his hand spreading some of the cum over my flaccid cock.  “You tasted so delicious I cannot wait to have another helping,” as he hugged me tight, pulling me to my side facing him.

“Caleb, about your…”

“Hush, we will worry about my needs next round.  For now, just relax and enjoy the afterglow.”

I kissed him again, my shoulder against his chest as we both drifted off to sleep.